Can’t Wait For Your Family To Change?
The commitment to change, whether your behavior or your kids’, needs to be treated as delicately as a seed. The intention to change is essential, yet like the seed, it cannot grow without patience, ingredients, and time. Many of us enter parenting with the idea that change is an event, and get frustrated when our intentions are not quickly realized. Just realizing that you need to nurture you and your kids’ best intentions can help you develop the patience and persistence you need!
Many times when I am working with the kids or on issues with myself, I remind myself that change is a process, not an event. Before having kids I pictured change as an event; one decided to change, and it happened. Needless to say I was in for a lot of frustration when I began to see the many areas of my life that I wanted to change, and how persistent those areas were despite me having stated that I wanted to change!
I saw a short clip of Marianne Williamson at the Gaia Illumination University site. In the clip, Marianne responds to the question of what was the aha, or insight that made the most difference in her life. I loved her answer. She said she disagrees that change happens instantly, because after the aha comes the work to make the change happen. She went on to say that yes, insight happens, and to name one of her biggest influences. Still her bigger point was that change is a process.
You may also find it very nurturing to constantly remind yourself of this fact. I know I have. When I look at the big picture, I can see that I have progressed a long way as a parent. I’ve gone from wanting to flee my kids because they drove me crazy to a great relationship with my kids with a few areas that need working on. I’ve gone from being sharp and over-reactive with the kids to recognizing the much more subtle effects of my subdued-but-still-present perfectionism. Yet most of these changes wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t also learn how to be gentle and patient with myself as I strove to change.
So the next time you are inspired to change, make a resolution or set a goal, treat it like a seed. Remember that the change you want to see needs time and support in order to grow. Trust that you and your family can make the changes you want to see. Then sit back and enjoy the process, while being gentle on everyone involved.
Author Box Jacqueline Green has 1 articles online
Like so many parents nowadays, my initial instincts were skewed and caused me a lot of stress! I am indebted to Dr. Gordon Neufeld, developmental psychologist and best-selling author of Hold on to Your Kids. My passion is teaching other parents about his ground-breaking work, and helping you to be the great parent that you were meant to be. go sports shirt You can see more articles from me on my blog at http://www.greatparentingpractices.com.
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